Not A Sinner

I remember a time in my life that I actually believed I was not a sinner. Really, I did. Forgive me, Jesus, but I did. I was blinded by religion and hypocrisy. It's easy to do, you know? It's easy to fall into the trap of living by what I call the "sin-o-meter" and determining some things as bad and others as not so bad. Society does it and so does the church. I was a Pharisee before Jesus blindsided me with grace and mercy.

I was a Pharisee.

See, somewhere along the way I forgot about God's definition of sin. Jesus gave it to us when he walked on this Earth. He specifically said that not only is murder sin, but so is hate. Not only is adultery sin, but so is lust. Jesus sets the standard higher than any man could achieve...and the Pharisee's didn't like it one bit. What I see now, is that I was really focused on the outward and not the inward. As long as I didn't do "certain things" on the outside I was good to go. The Pharisees were really good at the outward stuff too. Jesus knew that about them. He knew they were going through the motions and their hearts were not in it.

My heart was not in it for a long time.

It's interesting how easily I was deceived...scary actually. I see so clearly know that I was blinded by pride and actually believed if I didn't do "those things" I wasn't a sinner.

How foolish.

Whether I like it or not, I am a sinner just like the rest. I get angry sometimes. I envy sometimes. I fight with people sometimes. I do things all the time that fall short of that very high standard Jesus set. With a sigh of relief though, I look towards the cross. The cross is God's solution to the high standard of right and wrong that he has set. Those who hide behind the "I'm not a sinner" idea are just afraid of their imperfection, afraid of what Jesus is offering. At least I was. I could not wrap my heart around unconditional love and therefore I couldn't accept that God could love a sinner. I didn't believe that God could look at me, see all of it and say with complete purity "I love you".

Now, I believe.

I am grateful to Jesus for gently pulling and tugging me along until I finally got it. I am a sinner, saved by Jesus. There is no other justification for me. Sin is sin. There is no scale, no meter that measures the "horribleness" of sin. God sees all of it, forgives all of it and loves unconditionally. I now freely walk the road of forgiveness and mercy and believe with all my heart that God's love for me is pure, that it has nothing to do with my choices and everything to do with his. He chooses me. He forgives me. He loves me.

Yes, I am a sinner..and I am saved by grace.

"Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty of sin" Romans 3:24


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