Willingness

Today, my heart is stuck on something and so I think I should share it with you.

Willingness.

My heart is stuck on this word lately. The statement I hear most often from people in response to my writing or my speaking and sharing my story is, "Thank you for being willing." I don't think anyone knows how healing it is for me to hear those words.


You see, for many years, I didn't think willingness was enough. I needed to put myself together well, say the right words, and above all, not mess up!

If I could just get my act together....

I've learned much these past years about God's measuring stick. In fact, I've learned that he doesn't have one. Oh, but I thought he did. I just knew that he had a list of people he compared me with and so, I was always coming up short,

because they were better.

What I didn't realize was that I had wrapped a rope around my neck, with my own hands, and I was suffocating. That sounds intense, maybe, but it is true. This philosophy will choke the life out of you. It sucks out the joy, the peace. When I worked so very hard to measure up, I was always falling short. Every time I fell short, I withdrew a little more, ignored God's whisper a little more....gave up a little more. I wonder, do any of you ever feel you are a lost cause? Do you ever feel like God is just shaking his head and rolling his eyes at the mess of your life?

Oh, friend.

My heart hurts for you because I sympathize with those feelings. Hopelessness is the key ingredient to all of the enemies plans. When we start believing we are a lost cause and not good enough, that flame of hope starts dying....and we die along with it. In our desperate attempt to hold onto that hope that maybe we can do enough and be enough we start trying to measure up everyone else, find the faults that are "worse" than ours so we will feel just a little worthy. You can't begin to imagine the hope that was birthed anew in my soul when I began discovering and believing that God isn't worried with my ability.

You can't imagine.

This revelation didn't just birth a flame of hope. This revelation birthed a fire of passion and zeal that I had never, in all my years of trying so hard to serve Jesus, felt before. When I began believing that God doesn't "pick" people based on ability, worthiness, mistakes....that his grace is just so big I can't ever fall short of it....well, then I started opening my heart to this plan of his. I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, he really could do something with my mess. Slowly, that seed of hope grew. Hope is a powerful thing, friends. Hope is stronger than fear and this proved true in my own life. The hope of what Jesus could do in me began to take over, and every lie I believed about myself started dying. I began believing that willingness really is enough, that Jesus is the worthiness in me.

Jesus is the worthiness in me.

So, you see, when others thank me for being willing to share my life out in the open, hope grows a little more inside of me. Every time I hear that, I remember that the only thing required for Jesus to work in me is willingness. Willingness to listen, to follow.

I am willing, and I wonder, are you? Do you realize how much we all lack when measuring our own lives? This is where the beauty of serving God is found. He sees our lack, and he fills it to overflowing. Passion for Jesus and willingness to follow never comes from discovering that we can do it.

It comes from discovering that he can do it in us.

Willingness. That's what God requires from us. He doesn't look for any of the standards this world has set as acceptable. He doesn't concern himself with outward appearance, failures or even accomplishments. He seeks hearts that are willing.

Just be willing...

and see what God will do.


"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." 
Phil. 2:13

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