Fall is finally in the air. Granted, it's only chilly in the mornings and evenings, but I will take it. Living in the desert teaches a soul to truly appreciate all the seasons, not just summer.
I've been learning a lot about appreciating all the seasons, lately. I can pinpoint different ones in my own life and see exactly what grew and what died there. I had a long winter season that lasted many years. The ground of my soul was dry, hardened from frost and so very cold. The cold had a numbing affect for all the wounds left unattended. Just freeze them, keep them hardened and they won't hurt.
Winter, though, can only last for so long.
Spring must come along for life to persist, to keep moving forward. Winter left alone will kill more than what needs killing. Spring is the next step. Spring is the ray of sunshine seeping through the cold winter clouds, bringing warmth to a frozen ground.
Spring came to me.
Oh, it came. It surprised me, too because I was comfortable with the cold, I was good at surviving in winter. Spring, though, it enticed me with the smell of fresh, new life and melted ice turning into trickling streams. The feeling of warmth and light on my very dry and cold soul was so wonderful that I just had to stop and take an inventory. I had to look at what season I was living in, what place I was comfortable in and ask myself if it was enough.
How many souls stop in the winter season? How many walk around bundled up, wounds frozen over to try and stop the hurt? So many....
so many living in winter.
Spring brought a thawing in my heart that was a little scary at first. Feeling things that had been frozen over for so long...that was hard to allow. Feeling was a new thing and, surprisingly, a welcome thing. Feeling the memories, the hurts, the everything became more enticing than the numbness. And just like that...
little buds began to form.
The soil began to soften, the light of the sun began to do its thing. Yes, the wounds thawed and I had to feel them all over again. I saw though, as I allowed myself to move from winter into spring that I wasn't moving alone. There was someone there, planting, tilling the soil, tending the buds that sprouted.
I wasn't moving alone.
As life began to come forth again in my soul, I discovered what it really means to be made new. No one can experience that without coming out of the winter and so, I started looking back at winter with great appreciation. Without the season of winter, I would never have known spring.
The spring brought healing. The wounds turned into the very soil those buds of life sprouted in. And there, always in the middle of it all, was that same someone, carefully tending that soil, pruning, watering...keeping it alive.
Spring makes way for Summer where life abounds and thrives. Summer is the evidence of Spring. In Summer, thirst is quenched and the sun becomes so obviously present in everything. Summer is the proof of all that happens in the Spring. Life is bursting everywhere in the Summer, proving that Spring really did its job.
Summer is the season I have lived in for a while now.
Fall is here, though, bringing with it the reminder that change is inevitable. Fall reminds me that even in the beauty of Summer, there will always be room for death and rebirth.
Old things have to die for new life to burst forth.
It's okay though, for fall to come with its changing and shifting. It's okay because I know what Spring feels like, I know what the Summer sun looks like. With the changing there is also a peace. Peace that the same someone who thawed the frozen ground in winter, planted new life in the Spring, and warmed the fields in Summer...
will be there in the changing and shifting...
"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end." Ecc. 3:11